enjoying food

I can't really say I ever enjoyed food much, until recently. At meals, I ate because it was the socially acceptable thing to do as well as a necessary task. I generally prepared the same things over and over and had no real interest in picking up a cookbook and trying something new. I had no care for the aesthetic of food. When presented with a beautifully plated dish, I couldn't have cared less about how it looked and couldn't have told you whether the taste was great versus average. I'd have eaten it with the same (lack of) enthusiasm as I would have eaten salted, cold day-old couscous out of a plastic tupperware with some thin slices of cheddar on top. There were times when my poor husband, who knew how to enjoy food, would take his plate back to the kitchen, add some fresh vegetables and rearrange his food in a more appetizing way. I'd look at his plate, then at mine, and shrug my shoulders thinking he was a bit eccentric.

In between meals, I ate out of compulsion, and I ate foods that I thought I'd enjoy, despite their obvious nutritional flaws--chips, crackers, cheese, CANDY, ice cream. With both meals and snacks, I almost always ate past the point of satiety. With snack foods in particular, I'd continue eating past the point of feeling sick until I either ran out or physically couldn't eat any more. The things I tended toward the most were cheese, ice cream and candy (and salt, though I only notice it now in retrospect.) But can I say I really enjoyed them when I had no control over them? when I couldn't NOT buy them? when I kept eating them past the point of enjoyment? when I knew my body didn't like them? (I had a severe allergy to dairy as a child and got headaches from too much sugar.)

Every so often I'd break the mold and stop buying junk and even lose the craving for sugar, for example. However as soon as I thought it was safe to buy one little candy bar, the floodgates opened and the next thing I knew the cupboard was full of junk yet again. Sometimes I would sit back and look at my behavior in awe, "It's like I'm addicted to sugar!" I'm really not sure how I managed to remain just a bit overweight and not obese.

All that has changed over the course of the last 1.5 years. As my interest in eating plant-based whole foods has grown, so has my interest in the food itself. I love how the colors of the food look on our white plates. I love the flavor of the food and can tell you when I'm really enjoying something and when I'm not. I enjoy noticing textures and mixing flavors: savoury with sweet with earthy... It's to the point that I want to take pictures of my lunch and post them on facebook, for heaven's sake! :)

As well as enjoying the aesthetics of the food, I pleasure in the good health that has come with my new diet. I feel light, strong and an overall sense of well-being. My skin has a healthy glow, even in the dead of winter when it would otherwise tend to turn a pale-grey. Between my diet and moderate exercise (maybe 3-4 times/week), I'm losing weight at a slow, steady pace (which means it's going to stay off!), and I'm getting more fit and strong physically than I've been for a long time. I'm confident that a plant-based whole food diet is the best way to prevent, reverse and treat all kinds of illness, and it feels good to know that I'm doing the best that I can for my body (nearly, still have some tweaking to do).

I still have waves of weakness where I struggle to maintain control, but since I'm now much more aware of myself physically and mentally these times become fewer and shorter in duration. I sometimes still have a hard time knowing when I've had enough (esp with french fries!), but I'm getting better at it. It is a journey. I may never completely lose my addictive response to certain foods, but I feel more equipped to deal with it. I expect I'll probably read "The End of Overeating" by Kessler every so often as a reminder and encouragement, and I have a very disciplined husband to help me as well. Most of all, I'm motivated by good health, a clear conscience and the desire to truly appreciate each meal. Plus, I just really like eating plants :)